saturday was fun. very. i enjoyed it. alot. shop/talk was fun. super. i loved eating. duper. r-e-s-p-e-c-t, we all gotta haf that for each other :)

one of the sweetest memories

if u haf trouble reading the whole entry, go to the 'previous posts' link. yesterday, 5th march 2005(saturday), i had one of the most enjoyable times of my life. It was service learning day. we started out by meeting up at 7.45, which dragged till around 8.15 coz sky was late. he thought the meeting time was 8.30. anw, dwayne, denise, jasper, yuying, maryam, georgia, sky, jieyi and me(correct me if there's more, me memory sux)met up and took a bus to the home in serangoon i think. gideon, gayle, vanessa, yijun, aiping, youjun were there already, and ms ng came along as well. ok we went into the centre, which wasnt too big, but had chairs, sofas, food, 3 computers, and a well-hidden toilet(thought it was a storeroom). The kids ranged from as young as 6 yrs old to 13 yrs old. We went mixing around with the kids, and some of them had attitude prob... some just wouldnt talk or respond. well cant blame them since this is something new for them, and some of them arent born under good family condition. so yea, next we got into groups, and me and vanessa took the 9 yr olds. pavitrah, mark, jacey, zheng kuang, fuzly(not sure about the spelling) were in the group, and we warmed up by playing ice-breaker games like memory game in which everyone had to memorise each others names and then followed by the 'evolution game' where everyone played scissor paper stone. it was lotsa fun. it was a warm feeling of satisfaction and acceptance when the kids called us 'kor kor' and 'jie jie', and it made the bond closer. we tried our best to interact and were quite successful except for fuzly who was rather quiet the whole time. next we had a prelude of the banana dance, which georgia and vanessa demonstraed. i loved the groovy rhythm. georgia was the head of the whole thing, and she sure played her role; an organised and firm leader. Denise was one of the heads too.

it was time to move down to pasir ris park. thats where most of the fun took place. i cant remember everything, but basically we played lots of games. there was this game where georgia held a grenade, and whenever she tossed it up, we had to run as far away from where the grenade landed as possible, and all lie down by the count of 4. it was exciting and tested how alert we were. those who didnt lie down would haf their points deducted(the whole time we played a point-scoring system). there were other games which tested our teamwork, like making the children stand within a folded piece of newspaper, and we had to keep folding the newspaper until ppl could no longer stand within. we lost. next was the tangle game, in which everyone criss-crossed hands and had to untagle them with our hands still locked... it was so messy. we just stood there ni the same position, and lost. lol. gideon's group won the newspaper thing coz he carried them! lol. maryam's group won the tangling thing. dwane and jasper did loads of training by carrying children on their backs, and mark tan, gideon, and denise brought sunglasses. next was the clothes peg game which the children had to use only one hand to take the clothes peg off the clothes hanger. we didnt win that too haha. then there was this banana dance competition in which every group would haf to devise something unique. we won the dance! haha. thx to vanessa's ideas. yep, the group was happy and contented, and me and vanessa took turns to bring the kids to the toilet. i treated them to drinks and stuff. i was SHOCKED when the malay uncle there said 'xie4 xie4'(thank you) in chinese to me LOL. and i said 'bu ke qi' LOL.

next was the treasure hunt game. i hope i can still remember the list...
1. 3 strands of white hair.
2. a t-shrit
3.2 hair ties
4. a tshirt
5.a textbook
6.pink jacket
7.green sock
8. 20 diff flowers
9. toe ring
10. 4 pairs of shoe laces
11. 3 sea shells
hmm... me memory ends here but there were 20 items -.-
ok for green socks i took 2 leaves and tried to fake LOL. but vanessa drew them on paper which was even better LOL! for the flowers, we found around 10 diff types or less... and vanessa again drew the rest. LOL the names were so funny!!!! yellow sunflower orange sunflower blue sunflower hahahhaha. omg. the toe ring... she used the water bottle ring!! LOL. textbook ... the pokemon book didnt count. the pink jacket... i tried to use the pink plastic bags which were holding the food but that didnt work either. haha damn fun lar. lunch was ok. some malay food which was good. some of the kids were scared to open the packet coz they didnt noe how haha. there was this guy who roller bladed in nothing but UNDIES LOLOLOL! and there was this cool bike gang who did real cool stunts on the rocks!

yep then came chasing. i was kinda fascinated with climbing up and down the rocks. so fun. i got caught a few times and ran around like mad shouting LOL. damn funny. exhausting too. i remember my shoe got wet when i went too near the sea water, so i had to dry them in the sun. i nearly got blisters walking on the ground and our class had a 'see who can stand the longest on the hot ground without being burnt' competition. "D
ok next up was the building of sand castles!! SO FUN! i only build sand castles once, and doing that again was a real thrill. at first i didnt really relish the thought of dirtying my hands with the sand, but in the end i was digging away :) we used a cup to make cute little mounds on the castle, and even dug deep trenches. There was this exceptionally long and heavy pole lying around and some ppl used it to write lame stuff... yup, we even drew a dolphin and wrote our group name dolphin on the sand, below our castle. other groups included 'lie cheat steal', 'catwoman' and 'fireworks' and.. 'batman'? LOl. i got loads of pink flowers and we lay them in the trenches, and decorated the rest of the castles with seashells. a pretty and heartwarming sight of satisfaction. then we took some group photos, and it was back to the gathering area. During rest times, the children ran about, played soccer, chatted with us, and even ran around collecting huge leaves ... their innocent and boisterous nature made me reminiscent of my own childhood... it was a very heartwarming and meaningful thought... a sense of longing for the past... haiz. standing at the beach, looking out to that vast expanse of blue sea, letting the breeze blow in ur face and stream thru ur hair... al ur troubles just go with the wind, and u feel so carefree and happy.
next we went to the playground! gosh the playground was BIG. there was this huge disc in which everyone sat on it and it would spin around in a diagonal angle. it was SO fun man. then there was this cable car thing which was also very fun. the spider web was banned as it was very dangerous. I missed the see-saws... me and maryam and vanessa had a ball of a time on the 3-seat see-saw. didnt get to play the swings though coz we were busy pushing the kids who wanted to play the 'cable car' thingy. then we realised our kids were missing! so me and vanessa went on a long search for them but to no avail. then suddenly they reappeared. lol jasper's group had bryan... a trouble kid who didnt follow anything we told him. it was ... annoying. yep. after everything, which ended at around 6pm... we returned to the home. after so many hours..one would obviously be tired. but i wasnt, neither were the rest of 34/04, coz the kids brightened up our day. it was real sad as the kids left one by one. me and vanessa even suggested bringing them out to cycle during the march holidays etc. anw, we were a great team, and hi 5 everyone! they were so loveable and adorable... so cute. ok i did a silly thing. i was flinging my old shirt around and it landed on the 1st floor ledge, and the malay auntie had to use a bamboo stick to help me. lotsa time was wasted. sky did it in the end. our hero. so much for a shrit that maybe didnt even cost $10. -.- ok dinner and pool! dinner was fun, in a cozy and quiet corner in the open. it was dark during evening time, and it made the atmosphere even more conducive. we talked about lotsa things and had ms ng share her life story and recount our own life stories. i dunno why georgia laughed every 3 words i spoke. o well. played pool till 11.30. SO FUN!!! i never had so much fun in pool! i had lotsa luck that night. teamed with gayle multiple times, and vanessa too. lol lucky team won. high five! but it was 3v2. vanessa was like running from table to table to play coz she was involved in 2 games at once. lol. she was real hyped up about pool. georgia had her first try at pool, and her stance was so funny, like a ballad dancer. haha but she did well. denise tried too. :) Had loads of fun and laughter. took a cab home with jasper and he lent me money. a real nice guy :) haha our parents were both slightly angry. :( anw woke up today with red face... sun burn. sian. but luckily face wasnt as red as yest... yest i was a walking tomato. :D so there goes... longest entry ever, and best day of me life. i think the 2nd is the barbecue. lol. wadeva... 34/04 ROX. ciao

hello hsienjun. where art thou?

hi world. i feel so... shitty these days. its just sleep sleep and sleep. so tired... if there is a god, let him help me out thru this. ive no idea how im gonna carry on this life. its boring, mundane, routine... wadeva... stuff that isnt to my liking. heng got frenz in sch to share that burden... its like... where has all the enthusiasm gone to... im just a living corpse. nothing in my life to spice things up... where has all the motivation gone to? i dunno but studies just doesnt seem viable... it doesnt even cross me mind... im just like a carefree guy who lives each day as it passes, and yet i feel so troubled... its me conscience. i noe all this is not good and it means things arent going as they shd be, in the right direction. i noe i haf to stop it. but the escapist mentality just hits me and i just wander off into another realm. am i really that lazy. argh... i tell myself i can do it. i tell myself miracles happen... but in actual fact... i was just lucky. i guess. the 99% hard work still has to be put in. and i wonder when... i think im at 1% work... at least sometimes i bother to copy. wow i havent been so negative in a long time. i just woke up from a 1.5 hr nap... and am having a headache. sometimes in life u just need some nice things to cheer u up. such things are people. friends. and the stuff u like. i try to socialise more often. haiz. i guess i juz need to haf a goood long talk with someone. maybe mom? friends? teachers? even the principle. why not. im open to anything, anyone. maybe its the just-wake up pessimistic mood... yep. but this is basically wads bugging me. i need to destress from stressing myeslf out. lol.

ok aside from self-pity... today gp we discussed about war and all that. ive been watching a series of war shows including 'we were soldiers', 'life is beautiful', and 'black hawk down'. they remind me of another 2 movies ive watched: 'tears of the sun', and 'the pianist'. i particularly like war shows because they touch something sensitive within us. it can make us cry. its so scary to think that here u are in a safe country enjoying life everyday, when in other countries, people are dying every moment. those horrible graphic scenes of people dying in gruesome pain just makes u cringe. we know too little of the harshness of war... we are too pampered... those soldiers out there... u rock. its so saddening to see that the soldiers have families waiting for them to return safely, and when they die... they say things like 'look after my daughter for me.' sobs. another thing i liked was the phrase 'nobody is to be left behind'. it really shows the huge friendship and teamwork bond in times of crisis and danger. everyone watches each others back, regardless of skin colour. everyone works together as a team, never alone. yea... thats war. bitter.

seen the principle 2 times. today forgot to see him at 12.15. haf to go cut hair again. sian. i dunno... but i somehow look diff. haha must be i eat too much liao. oh well... one has no time to care about looks anymore when he is so tired out. i need a break. oh heavenly march holidays i worship u. ... the heat wave is ending. oh glorious rain. ur finally here. had a nice talk with gayle in nexus today. nice talks are fun. esp when nice things are discussed that really is 'food' for thought. or rather, though provoking. oh well. o cindy and hwee sian came back today to watch soccer match. yup. me and sky were there till like 6 pm. so hot and tired ... :( but had fun talking though. im lost. i haf to find myself. im floundering in the sea of ... of.... of........?! of wad?! i dunno. not love. not hate. im so... dead... but yet im not coz i can become lively again. ahh. i think i shdnt think so much. i go sleep again le. cya.