POLY
had SVA filming today at 8pm... was raining and sky forgot to bring sunglasses, so my scene and his was not shot today. So i went to NYP with sky and talked about Singapore Idol over a macdonalds meal. Now this is where the real issue im gonna talk about now starts.
Sky's almost decided on going to poly. Wad is happenin to our class... sky said 'i like aj but i dun like the ppl'. Why is this happening?! our class is one of the most unique classes that ive ever been in, with strong personalities and characters. But has the balance btw such personalities tilted, to that of overpowering? to that of... cold treatment?! gosh... im feeling a mixture of confusion, sadness, and agitiation. Sky related to me scenarios of why he chose to go poly. Firstly, he talks with class 32 ppl more than our own class ppl. He doesnt have many friends, unlike in SRJC or his secondary school where things went fine. He feels so lonely, lacking motivation and communication, and doesnt feel accepted. He told me of things i never witnessed before, though a chance it may be a one-sided view, i accepted it there and then. He said that in math lessons, he sits alone, no one to talk to. In chinese lessons, he sits alone or with the chinese teacher. He said he tried to sit with the class, but they mostly ignored him or wad. I get different comments from different ppl about the truth of this but im just stating what he said, the arguing part comes later. I tried to persuade him, saying that if frens dont talk to u, it doesnt mean they dun treat u as one. For me eg, im rather introverted.. but i can still fit in i think. i told him about the disadvantages of poly, and how arguments and misunderstandings take both hands to clap; if he doesnt change his stand, ppl wont as well. I told him about being able to adapt to situations and be more flexible, and not just giving up 1 year of education just becoz of this. his reply was that he could find no happiness, that he wants a carefree, happy sociable life. I told him about all education systems being the same and that if u feel this way in jc, ull probably feel that way in poly as its to do with ur own character or perception. when ur mind is so focused on a problem and its solutin, u will be set on going poly, u only see one path and dun see the other solutions, tts why we must consider all factors ... going to poly is just like a temporary escape route, the problem still remains, with urself, the ability to adapt and all that thingy.
Yea and this is basically most of our long talk. Ppl say that if he doesnt wanna change how can we change... i dunno... bystanders, be the judge. Ive seen situations in class where i feel ... shocked... people.. stir up issues, point fingers, criticise behind ppl's back. i shant point out names, coz i respect these ppl and their privacy, but for those reading it and know who u are, it will sting ur conscience. im bein a little harsh, verbally, but it has been harsh on me, and a friend, as well. cant ppl be abit moe forgiving and understanding, and not criticise or instigate issues? i dun get why ppl get so worked up over some little thing as little as a character flaw. Wouldnt critising reflect more on ur own flaws? no one is perfect. in fact, critising makes u uglier than the person. maybe i havent seen enough of the world. maybe ppl with my character wont survive in the working world, where backstabbing and criticism is what gets u to the top(said by a fren who is no longer in aj). i dun really think so... if the person backstabs me, if it suits his conscience, ill just forget it. no reason to make the person's life a living hell. Im not talking like the issue is still hot, its not, but its not resolved as well. Ppl instigate negative feelings as a whole towards a certain person, and... i dunno things just happen so fast now that u look back. put urself in his shoes man... after hearing things said behind his back, i can feel hurt even if im not the targeted one... put urself in his shoes, if ur so intolerant of a little flaw, ull be wanting to go poly even more. im not saying that the whole class is wrong, there are very nice ppl in our class and everyone can be nice when they want to. Similarly, when the dark sides reveal, it can be ugly. im no longer caring about who started it and what not... a quarrel involves both parties, and it takes twohands to clap. even if its he who started it, being involved in it and pursuing the matter with criticism doesnt make one a better person as well. ive said before, over 1 year, even enemies can become friends. well, now its not anymore about pinpointing. i noe ive just done that in my entry, but tts a little background in case ppl dont know whats going on. it may not be totally right but its wad i gather and think so far. even if the issue is past, now someone is leaving becoz of all this accumulated issues. i noe its not nice to bring up such a sensitive and harsh issue in the fun holidays, well, maybe boring holidays, but i have too before its too late.
so now the pressing issue is, i told sky to try to change, to forget and once the new year starts, take it like fittin into a new class. and thus i beg all of u, plz accept him... character flaws might re-surface again, but, after 1 yr of it, im sure ull be able to adapt to it as well. prevent anymore friends from leaving, plz. no more... no more....
T_T
sad hsien
Sky's almost decided on going to poly. Wad is happenin to our class... sky said 'i like aj but i dun like the ppl'. Why is this happening?! our class is one of the most unique classes that ive ever been in, with strong personalities and characters. But has the balance btw such personalities tilted, to that of overpowering? to that of... cold treatment?! gosh... im feeling a mixture of confusion, sadness, and agitiation. Sky related to me scenarios of why he chose to go poly. Firstly, he talks with class 32 ppl more than our own class ppl. He doesnt have many friends, unlike in SRJC or his secondary school where things went fine. He feels so lonely, lacking motivation and communication, and doesnt feel accepted. He told me of things i never witnessed before, though a chance it may be a one-sided view, i accepted it there and then. He said that in math lessons, he sits alone, no one to talk to. In chinese lessons, he sits alone or with the chinese teacher. He said he tried to sit with the class, but they mostly ignored him or wad. I get different comments from different ppl about the truth of this but im just stating what he said, the arguing part comes later. I tried to persuade him, saying that if frens dont talk to u, it doesnt mean they dun treat u as one. For me eg, im rather introverted.. but i can still fit in i think. i told him about the disadvantages of poly, and how arguments and misunderstandings take both hands to clap; if he doesnt change his stand, ppl wont as well. I told him about being able to adapt to situations and be more flexible, and not just giving up 1 year of education just becoz of this. his reply was that he could find no happiness, that he wants a carefree, happy sociable life. I told him about all education systems being the same and that if u feel this way in jc, ull probably feel that way in poly as its to do with ur own character or perception. when ur mind is so focused on a problem and its solutin, u will be set on going poly, u only see one path and dun see the other solutions, tts why we must consider all factors ... going to poly is just like a temporary escape route, the problem still remains, with urself, the ability to adapt and all that thingy.
Yea and this is basically most of our long talk. Ppl say that if he doesnt wanna change how can we change... i dunno... bystanders, be the judge. Ive seen situations in class where i feel ... shocked... people.. stir up issues, point fingers, criticise behind ppl's back. i shant point out names, coz i respect these ppl and their privacy, but for those reading it and know who u are, it will sting ur conscience. im bein a little harsh, verbally, but it has been harsh on me, and a friend, as well. cant ppl be abit moe forgiving and understanding, and not criticise or instigate issues? i dun get why ppl get so worked up over some little thing as little as a character flaw. Wouldnt critising reflect more on ur own flaws? no one is perfect. in fact, critising makes u uglier than the person. maybe i havent seen enough of the world. maybe ppl with my character wont survive in the working world, where backstabbing and criticism is what gets u to the top(said by a fren who is no longer in aj). i dun really think so... if the person backstabs me, if it suits his conscience, ill just forget it. no reason to make the person's life a living hell. Im not talking like the issue is still hot, its not, but its not resolved as well. Ppl instigate negative feelings as a whole towards a certain person, and... i dunno things just happen so fast now that u look back. put urself in his shoes man... after hearing things said behind his back, i can feel hurt even if im not the targeted one... put urself in his shoes, if ur so intolerant of a little flaw, ull be wanting to go poly even more. im not saying that the whole class is wrong, there are very nice ppl in our class and everyone can be nice when they want to. Similarly, when the dark sides reveal, it can be ugly. im no longer caring about who started it and what not... a quarrel involves both parties, and it takes twohands to clap. even if its he who started it, being involved in it and pursuing the matter with criticism doesnt make one a better person as well. ive said before, over 1 year, even enemies can become friends. well, now its not anymore about pinpointing. i noe ive just done that in my entry, but tts a little background in case ppl dont know whats going on. it may not be totally right but its wad i gather and think so far. even if the issue is past, now someone is leaving becoz of all this accumulated issues. i noe its not nice to bring up such a sensitive and harsh issue in the fun holidays, well, maybe boring holidays, but i have too before its too late.
so now the pressing issue is, i told sky to try to change, to forget and once the new year starts, take it like fittin into a new class. and thus i beg all of u, plz accept him... character flaws might re-surface again, but, after 1 yr of it, im sure ull be able to adapt to it as well. prevent anymore friends from leaving, plz. no more... no more....
T_T
sad hsien
posted by Jonathan Lee Hsien Jun at 11:07 PM
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